Behind the Face
25. Continuing..................
Mum had her friends pop-in occasionally and dad had his ex-RAF guys all full of
scary stories to make your hair curl. It was a fun house on some weekends, in these
early years of their marraige and my mother loved Christmas, though it represented
cursed’ winter months of pain for me. Winter always changed my personality
completely, all I wanted to do was hibernate in a warm space, praying for spring to
arrive as soon as possible. It all amounts to my having really ‘bad’ circulation
problems.
We had snow one Christmas and I watched the neighbours kids from the lounge
window throwing snowballs at each other in the road, I told mum I wish I could go
out. “You know what will happen if you do.” “I know Mum, can I try for a while?.”
No matter what I did outside to keep warm it made no difference, I was back inside
in less than 7 minutes looking blue, my hands were in so much pain and my feet like
blocks of ice, my body just couldn’t take it. So I had to bare the slow recovery to stop
the pain, then I was back to the window in a warm blanket, to watch the other kids
having fun, moisture filled my eyes. I felt sad, different, isolated, imprisoned. My
grandfather on my mother's side apparently stated:- It is but a passion to see the
splendour of daffodils but a curse’ on the return of blackberries. Mum and sometimes
dad were often the life and soul of a party, both had strong-personalities, though every
family member had their place and I knew mine. I was mum's loving 1st born and my
sister was dad’s little treasure, his princess, always looked like a pretty picture, Bless!
One night I awoke to overhear mum arguing with my father downstairs, I crept out
and sat at the top of the stairs trying to listen. Mum spoke of my thin petite build,
and the fact that my growth still wasn't happening at all and it really concerned her,
she was agitated not being able to do anything. My appetite was fine but still my
mother was very anxious. These conversation’s made me even more aware of my
own thoughts and feelings, -it affected me mentally.
25.